Tribute to The Pledge - Dir en Grey

This song, especially the unplugged version, was introduced to me by a friend in my multiply blog. Surprisingly, the song etched deeply in my heart, and somehow it could always ease my anger or sadness though the song itself seems like filled with both plus despair :D
The drawing was being drew at the time I was too sad and too angry to express it without hurting anyone's feeling....so, back then I grab a paper and a pen and started scribbling like mad.



mitsumeteta awai negai o egaki
naze furueteiru? kodoku o kakae shounen wa seiten no sora ni nanimo nai koto no imi o
naze ni rinen wa haru
haruka tooi yakusoku no koe
mou kikoeyashinai sa

nagare katachi o kaeteyuki kieru
ima mo kokoro ubaware yaketsuku kusari no ato
urabureta koe koko ni hitori

naze ni rinen wa haru
haruka tooi yakusoku no koe
mou kikoeyashinai sa

This is my pledge to you

mada umaku ikirarenai sa
kaerareru no wa tada...

asu ni ikasaretemo
nanimo kawaru hazu no nai hibi
mada owarenai
komi ageru kokoro ga mada
saku no nara kotaetemiro yo

daremo iyase yashinai



I express the fleeting wish I had been gazing at
Why are you shivering? The lonely boy looks up at the sunny sky that holds no meaning


Where is the philosophy of spring?
The long lost promise
It cannot be heard anymore


As time goes by it changes shape and disappears
Even now after my heart was taken and rotted
My miserable voice is alone here


Where is the philosophy of spring?
The long lost promise
It cannot be heard anymore


This is my pledge to you
I cannot live successfully yet
But I think I can change


Even if tomorrow lets me live
The days will not change
It will not end
If my full blown heart blooms again
Then answer me


I can't comfort anybody

Akiba Street

Sebenernya pas itu asal nyeletuk jadi akibaSt ....XD.
Intinya khan di lagu-lagu yg udah pernah digarap kemarin-kemarin sama nextGen, dan lagu-lagu yg cita2nya bakal digarap nanti coraknya tetep anime, tokusatsu, jpop, game yg pusatnya di Akiba kalo di Jepang :3
Soal kenapa "street", di Jepang sendiri banyak musisi-musisi yang start dari jalanan hingga bisa sampe jadi musisi besar dan keren. Lagipula, di "street" ada banyak org dgn banyak style dan masing-masing kepribadiannya. Dengan kata lain, kami bisa tetep jadi diri kita sendiri dengan karakter vokal dan karakter musik kita masing-masing disini, yang bisa lebur jadi satu ketika kami menyanyikan sebuah lagu bareng-bareng (hayah)
Yang mungkin bisa ngebedain kita dari otaku, kalo otaku mengcover dengan sungguh sugoi dan sungguh mirip aslinya, maka kita mengcover dengan style lain, yang entah jadinya lebih nge-rock, ato justru lebih kalem (akustik). Tidak menutup kemungkinan juga kita ngecover dengan gaya musik kita sendiri ato bikin lagu yang samasekali baru, walopun sementara ini kita belum tau apa kita punya tujuan sampe recording sendiri aja, recording sampe ke label, ato cuma utk sekedar melampiaskan keinginan nyanyi ngebawain lagu2 ost/anime/game/tokusatsu aja :3
ah iya....vocalists terdiri dari saya, Farid, Dhilla, Maurice, dan Dhoni. Gitar oleh Dede dan Mentoz, dan Bass oleh Nongky :3

Two Band Logos in October

This October I've been working on two different band logos. One of them is the Surabaya's legendary Japanese soundtrack cover band OTAKU for their 10th anniversary mini-concert, and the other one is my new band with the Ko-J-Tsu Project NextGen formation called AkibaStreet or AkibaSu.

Actually I'm making the Otaku personels chibi too, but since there's not enough time to post the picture on the tee that they're going to wear during the mini concert, the logo was being used as the tee's image instead.

Tonight I accidentally stumbled upon the poster for this end-of-November event, and it somehow tickles me seeing two logos of a band that I create being posted in the same poster :D

ternyata jadi pengajar itu seru :D

Lama gak nulis-nulis notes, akhirnya saya kangen nulis juga :D
Hari ini sudah hampir 2 bulan saya mulai menjadi tenaga pengajar tidak tetap di salah satu calon PTN di Surabaya. Sebuah profesi yang sebenernya cukup mengagetkan diri saya sendiri, terutama karena sejak kecil saya samasekali ndak kepikiran untuk jadi guru (atau semacam guru).
Yep. Cita-cita jadi pengajar itu justru benar-benar baru muncul di akhir masa kuliah. Sebelumnya? ngebayangin aja nggak XDDD
Saya orang yang termasuk cepat dan mau belajar, tapi sangat geregetan ama orang yang diajari kayak gimana juga gak ngerti-ngerti. Makanya, saya seringkali nolak rikues guru2 semasa sekolah dulu untuk mbantu ngajari temen2 saya, daripada saya jadi geregetan sendiri trus akhirnya malah tanpa sadar ngomong sesuatu yang bikin hubungan pertemanan jadi buyar ^^;;.
Jangankan teman. Adek2 saya pun lebih sering males saya ajari karena mulut saya yang pedes ini.

Trus kenapa mendadak tertarik jadi pengajar?

Salah satunya mungkin justru karena saya kuliah di DKV ITS ya... Semasa berkuliah, seperti lazimnya anak kuliah, tentu saya dan teman-teman (lintas angkatan) pernah lah ngobrolin dosen, ngobrolin mata kuliah, dan tentu ngobroli berbagai cara ngajar para dosen kami saat itu. Ada yang senang cara ngajarnya pak ini, ada yang lebih suka diajar oleh pak itu, ada yang mikir seandainya matakuliah ini diajarkan oleh dosen yg itu mungkin bakalan lebih "nyandak" ketimbang diajar sama dosen ini, dan berbagai rasan-rasan khas mahasiswa lainnya. Dari rasan-rasan (yang entah kenapa kesimpulan-kesimpulannya malah nyantol di otak) ini, pada beberapa kesempatan, saya sering dijadikan sarana konsultasi oleh teman-teman tentang tugas yang kami hadapi. Ringan-ringan saja sebenarnya...sekedar tanya enaknya bikin asistensi yang seperti apa, atau asistensian ini kurang apa kok sampai ditolak ama dosen ini, atau hal-hal semacam itulah. Ndilalah sih, ternyata beberapa saran saya gol ketika dijadikan asistensi.

Setelah agak kecewa dengan pengalaman kerja saya di suatu tempat selepas wisuda kemarin, akhirnya datang tawaran mengajar dari mas Iqbal. Harapan saya sih awalnya ndak muluk-muluk, asal dekat dengan rumah dan membuat saya merasa nyaman karena tidak merasa "stuck" aja sih sepertinya udah cukup untuk dijadikan pegangan sementara ini (berhubung nyokap punya anggapan udah selesai kuliah ya kerja, mbuh dimana gitu). Saya sendiri tertarik mengajar lebih karena saya rasa jadi pengajar lebih punya kesempatan untuk bertemu dengan banyak orang, dan bisa belajar lebih banyak hal lagi, apapun itu :D. Lucunya, ketika saya mengabarkan hal ini ke beberapa teman dan sahabat, tanggapannya malah "Wah! cocok banget itu Ast!", "pantes deh kayaknya mbak", dan kalimat-kalimat sejenisnya...XDD

Awalnya, tentu kagok sekali. Saya bingung mau menempatkan diri jadi teman sharing atau menjadi sumber ilmu. Saya tidak ingin disepelekan, tapi saya juga (awalnya) nggak mau dipanggil "Bu". Lebih lagi nama saya kalo dipenggal dan ditambah sebutan "Bu" bisa-bisa jadinya malah "BuAs" =___=a (yeah, yang ini asli kekhawatiran gak penting deh sebenernya). Saya punya idealisme, saya ingin berbagi ilmu, saya ingin terus belajar, saya ingin berada di lingkungan yang dinamis. Tapi jelas ada rasa ragu, apakah saya yang seperti ini pantas untuk mengajar orang lain, terlebih berambisi tidak hanya jadi seorang pengajar, melainkan seorang pendidik? Apakah saya yang sekarang sudah cukup ilmu untuk dibagikan kepada teman-teman mahasiswa? Pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu terus mengganggu saya dan cukup membuat saya nervous di minggu pertama semester ganjil ini.

Tapi dengan dukungan banyaaaaaaaak sekali teman, sahabat, dan rekan-rekan di UPN, setelah berjalan sekitar enam minggu ini sepertinya saya mulai bisa menemukan cara saya sendiri untuk berbagi ilmu dengan rekan-rekan mahasiswa. Saya mulai merasa enjoy dengan segala tingkah mahasiswa di dalam kelas. Saya mulai menikmati segala keajaiban kelakuan mereka di dalam kelas, mulai mengapresiasi sebagian mahasiswa yang dari tugas-tugasnya menunjukkan perkembangan, mulai berusaha menghafal nama mereka (walau mungkin gak bisa semuanya ya), termasuk (kadang) tertawa sambil heran mengamati mereka bersama rekan pengajar yang lainnya :D

Ngajar juga ternyata bikin saya makin merasa hormat sama para pendidik dan pengajar saya sejak saya mulai mengincipi sekolahan. Ngajar membuat saya makin kagum sama guru-guru dan dosen-dosen saya, dan membuat saya merasa bahwa mereka semua adalah orang-orang keren. Beberapa kalimat yang pernah mereka katakan semasa saya masih sekolah/kuliah mendadak teringat kembali di kepala dan menemukan maknanya ketika saya melihat dan merasakan sendiri kondisi beliau-beliau ini ketika mengajar atau berhadapan dengan mahasiswa. Celetukan simpel salah satu dosen saya di semester 1("kalian ini kan orang DKV....ngapain beli tabung gambar kayak anak arsitek?") akhirnya teringat kembali dan baru bisa saya pahami kondisi dan artinya saat ini. Sungguh saya belum ada apa-apanya dibanding mereka semua, baik yang serius menjadi pendidik maupun yang sekedar ngajar. Kata Shu, kalo saya sudah bisa berempati sampai kesitu, mungkin memang ini jalan hidup saya yang harus saya temukan selama ini. Ada kaitannya ama Dharma dan Karma kalo gak salah, entah bagaimana menjelaskannya(saya lupa...=__=a).

Profesi ini jelas tidak gampang, tapi saya masih pingin terus belajar supaya yang tidak gampang ini bisa saya lakukan. Ngajar itu ternyata seru, walopun nggak gampang :) Ngedengerin mahasiswa guyon pas ngerjakan tugas di studio itu sangat refreshing dan bikin saya tetep update ama gaya guyonan terbaru masa kini (hayah!). Memperhatikan raut muka mahasiswa yang nggak dapet absen gara-gara telat itu terasa fun(dan agak ngeselin), sementara memperhatikan raut muka mahasiswa yang (sepertinya) jadi nyandak ama materi yang saya bawakan itu sangat-sangat-sangat menyenangkan :D Ngobrol-ngobrol sama mbak-mbak dan mas-mas sesama dosen juga bikin saya tetep update ama dunia DKV. Pendek kata, I love this job, dan akhir-akhir ini malah saya justru jadi mellow kalo sedang di rumah dan tidak mengajar XDDD.

Yah, semoga besok-besok level saya bisa naik dari jadi "pengajar" ke jadi "pendidik". Tentu kudu ada prosesnya, kudu tamat satu game lagi kalo mau terus lanjut (game itu berjudul "S2" T^T) dan kudu banyak-banyak belajar apapun. Soal itu sih mari kita lihat saja nanti :) Let's just hope and pray for the best.

Dan satu lagi, saya baru sadar kalo ternyata saya memang "BuAs" T^T, apalagi soal kerapian tugas, disiplin waktu, ama sopan santun(lha kok?) wakakakakak~~

the wishlist

When I opened my blog yesterday, I accidentally read my wish list tab and found out that about four (actually, five) wishes among eleven had become reality within six month.
I believe in the law of attraction though I don't always applied the law to almost everything around me. But here, once again it has proven to me to be true.
Thank the Almighty God for making the law works to me :D
It's been 6 month full of grace for me, and all because of Him.

Moon

when you looking for the meaning of my real name, you'll find "the moon" among the full meaning of it. My Javanese ancestor might call this moon goddess with many names, but here I'll call her specifically as "Ratri".

I incorporate the traditional cow-skin shadow-puppet style into this doodles, because I made this picture about a week after I got home from my holiday in Jogjakarta. If you ever seen me in person, you'll be agree that my skinny figure looks like a shadow puppet too :D

Me, lately............

a Black Cat named "Me"

There was a forest where every animal is colored white. even if they weren't born white, they paint their fur into white. everything was white, genuine and faux. A black cat named Kuro amused and wondering if she could live inside the forest too....
"..then you should paint yourself white, just like us here.." the snake said....

"...but why should I?" another black cat asked.
" That's because you'll ruin us all if you don't paint yourself white!" the hippo answered.
"what if we just want to be ourselves?"
" then you shouldn't befriends with us or staying in this forest!"
another white animal said.....

Noir was really sad..."I thought they could be my friends..."
"They didn't wanna be my friends too....so son't cry...." Kuro said to her.
Kuro and Noir became friend for each other,because the other animal in the forest thought they were bringing bad luck, and refused to be their friends...

They became good friends, but then came the day when they must choose the different path to go.
" You'll always be my friend, Kuro..." Noir said before she go.
"You too..." Kuro whispered.
Alone, Kuro walked through the path she had never know before....
Kuro had Noir as her friend, but from now on she must travel the road on her own....and secretly she feared of the loneliness, the pain, and the unknown road....

To conquer her fear she create an armored stronger version of herself, in which she hid and nursing her sad and broken heart.....she is safe inside the armor that looked tough, but the pain of being lonely and being an outcast are still there inside her.....

...until suddenly, one day, came a stranger that somehow seemed familiar, offering a helping hand.
" I won't hurt you, because I know how it feels like..." he said.
Kuro had never met anyone who treat her like this stranger do.

Kuro decided that she'll try to trust someone once more. She reach out to the hand, and somehow all of her armor and her other self disappeared....
"...now I can see the real you" the stranger smiled at her.
As long as she remembered, she never had a place that she could called "home". But strangely, inside this stranger's arm, she felt safe and happy to be herself.

" I will took care of you from now on...therefore, I'll give you this choker" he said.
"Why would I need a choker?" Kuro asked
The man smiled again at her and said,"...so that you'll remember you will always had a friend to live with now."

From then on, Kuro decide that this man is her master. Now she had a friend to go along on this unknown road ahead. Sometimes she still wearing her strong and cautious self to protect her master from anyhting they might stumble upon in this journey. But when Kuro is with him she could always show herself and being happy to be herself, a black cat that will never paint herself into white.

Music (and my thoughts of it)

Just like everyone else said, music is great.

Today I finally watch BECK live action movie. I don't really follow the manga version but I've gotta say that this movie is great. I was a little bit repulsed by the wig worn by Hiro Mizushima as Minami Ryuusuke at first. But as the movie goes on, the ambience improve drastically, especially at the ending part.

Okay, you may call me overreacting but I myself think that music is magic. It has been with the nature since the very beginning of time, and it has been inside every one of us since the day we're born. Every sound made by nature, on it's own category can be heard as music. Every voice that we spoke, on it's own definition can be heard as music. Of course there are voices that we love to hear and voices that we refuse to hear if possible. But I think, composed with certain dose of other voice and rhythm and moods, it could always be the sound that we find amusing. Music pacifies a crying baby. Music rejuvenate people of certain sickness. Even plants are reacting to the music played for them. Don't you think that music is magical enough?

Music can gather a huge number of mass in one place, brings them peace or brings the riot among them. The same favorite music ties two strangers in a love relationship they don't even imagine at first. Music ties people to make more music in a band, and with the other bands they united into one community under the name of Ko-J-Tsu (one of Surabaya's Japan Lover community; I'm one of its member). Music send an ordinary looking boy to a country he had never imagine to learn more about it.  I was so touched by a friend story that tells one of his mentally-handicapped student (he's a drum private teacher and a superb musician) asked him to play a song at the end of their lesson, and cheerfully shouted "One Piece!!!" when he played one of the animation series' soundtrack (titled "Memories"). Again, don't you think that music is a power sooo great that everyone can be affected without seeing or touching  the real substance of it?

I don't really know about you, but sometimes, when I'm amazed at something, I heard a music created inside me. When things get bad while I have no power to make it better at the time, I listen to the songs that suit my mood, or even heard another music coming from my head. I got goosebumps when I heard a very good piece of music, and though I don't precisely know what is wrong, I know when a music is not played at the extent of the musician's skill.

Music is inside every one of us, just like the air we breathe. We are born with it. We listen to it, like it or not. We speak through it. We live through it, and some of us are lucky enough to live for it on the stage or in the recording room. No one really hate music. Even some of us who couldn't produce a very nice voice or not well educated in music could not prevent themselves from appreciating music in its many form.

I play music, though my self-taught skill of course never as great as anyone well educated in music. I sing, to my heart content, though at first I doubted myself. I have my own preferences in music genres though I will humbly admit all the good piece of music beyond my preferences. 

All in all, I love music :) (and I honestly hope that Indonesian taste for music will soon improved)

Srimulat : the story behind the curtain

the book front cover

This is my final project for my college years. We are bound to propose for a project with certain necessities, value, and prospect of marketing at the mid 2009. I propose on Srimulat as my research object, and being approved by the lecturer in charge of Design Research subject. Then we were supposed to do a research on the subject to find the problem that we can solved within the graphic design boundaries. The research should be then organized as the first chapter from the whole paper of our final project, and then being tested by a group of lecturer at the end of the semester.

chapter 1, the history of the group founder, Raden Ayu Srimulat

By the next semester, we were supposed to finish the next chapters of the paper, plus creating a mock up for the output of our final project, held an exhibition of it, and finally being tested for the last time by our lecturers. The whole processes should be done in a year or two semesters....but I got a problem and unable to attend the exhibition, and thus, got to do my exhibition in the middle of the next semester before having the final test.

chapter 2, Srimulat rised to popularity in Surabaya

Srimulat is an almost legendary group of comedians which was started off as a keroncong music group in the 1950's. They are at the top of their popularity in 1970's before the stars getting dimmer and dimmer until now.

They were unique, because their theatrical comedy did not follow the usual and general theatrical processes. For instance, they did not have much time to rehearse the play, which the second play scenario was sometimes even being finished right when the first play was still performing on stage. Each of the comedian was basically an artist and traditional stage-play performer. Each of them being popular solely because of the facts that each of them having their own signature at the stage. Some of them will have a special catchphrase on the stage, or some kind of appearance characteristic that differs them from the rest of the comedian within the group.

chapter 3, Srimulat Solo division

The group was disbanded in 1980's, and had been succeed to survive several time before most of them died of old age, having another profession, or even got popular by themselves in commercials and other comedy show. I was hoping that at least I could preserve the memories of the group with my Illustrated book before they are being forgotten.

chapter 4, Srimulat sudden highlight in Jakarta

Compiling the material have been a great challenge, as there are only two books that ever discuss about the group. It is because of this project too that I was given the chance to meet tha actual person of Mrs Jujuk Juwariyah, the widow of the leader and the senior actress in most of the stageplays, and Mr Herry Gendut Janarto, a popular biography book writer. I also was given the chance to have a talk with Mr. A.C Andre Tanama, an artist and lecturer of ISI Jogja (which works I adore so much) and his friends in Grasindo Book Publishing Mr Adinto Fajar.

chapter 5, some of the comedians and their short biography

This book may not have the best illustration I ever made, but I made it with my whole heart and efforts, and I'm so proud of it. Many many great thanks to everyone involved, help, support and cheering me up during the process of making the book come true. You're the best :)

Batik Kelautan

Last December my aunt (whose husband is one of the officials) asked me to create a marine-themed batik for the Ministry of Marine Affairs and Fisheries' annual product exhibition. I consider this as a big responsibility, even if the fabric will be mass-produced as a trading commodity, because traditionally a batik pattern was made with certain philosophical meaning.

Firstly I decide to consult the official Ministry of Marine and Fisheries' website to learn about Indonesian maritime and fisheries commodities. After searching for relevant data and real images for several week, I decided to create the first pattern, consist of sea turtle, pearl oyster, squid, shrimp, fish, and crab batik-stylized images.

marine-themed batik pattern

The sea turtle was intended to be the reminder of how fragile the abundant resources of the sea is, and that we should protect it for the future generation. In the other hand, just like the common turtles, the sea turtle represent the longevity which suggest that the ministry will continue to protect the maritime resources forever.

The fish and the shrimp represent how they become the main resources for the fishery industries, either within the country or as the export commodities.

The Crab with its tough armor represents the will of the ministry to protect the resources within the Indonesian marine territory, together with the Navy, from any disturbance and intrusion that threaten the sovereignty of the marine territories.

At last, the pearl oyster represent the wonderful beauty of Indonesian undersea.

My aunt says that the pattern is fantastic, and each and every detail on the pattern still can be developed into new patterns. She also requested the batik patterns to be made in pastel colors. Thus, the pattern was developed into four new pattern with each of it's philosopical meaning.

the sea turtle batik pattern

the fish,shrimp,and algae batik pattern

the crab batik pattern

the pearl oyster batik pattern

 

The exhibition which was due on february 2011 got postponed to the mid of May 2011. I am kinda disappointed though, because I haven't received any profit from these batik pattern designs either. I haven't planning on any legal contract to be signed on my design projects between me and my client when this request was made, so I kinda have no power to demand my rights upon this pattern while it means soooo much to me (my first seriously made batik patterns) :(

Self Portrait

woodcut style self-portrait

(supposed to be) pop art style self-portrait

manga style self-portrait with dollfie-like figure

 These are my first college assignment in Illustration Subject : drawing a self picture from our own photograph. Unfortunately I couldn't locate my water-colored one.

Love Greetings from Indonesia

On March 13th, my local community Ko-J-Tsu (Komunitas Jepang Surabaya, a community which member are Surabaya youngsters that love anything related to Japan and its culture) held a fund raising event for Japan Tsunami and Earthquake on one of our mall. I was thinking hard on what could I do to participate in the event, and I came to this.
It's a small, A6 paper which was printed with the chibi (japanese comic style of super-deformed figure) picture of Ultraman and Masked Rider Black. The whole idea was to thank anyone who would love to give their donation with a chibi picture of them in the middle, helding hands together with Masked Rider Black and Ultraman. Of course, the reversed ideas also being applied : people who wants me to draw them in chibi style should first donate to the event, with no minimum limitation for the donation sum.
I don't think that we really raised quite a sum, actually. But no matter how much it was, I do hope that it will be useful to the victims...even if it was just a teensy weensy bit....

Addictive ~ Summer FM suspended album's cover art

this time, it's one of my favorite task ever....designing an album's cover art.

My client is Summer FM, an indie band in my hometown Surabaya. They reaaaaalllly are a nice client. They only tell me what kind of atmosphere do they want to show within the mini-album, and they didn't even give me a deadline! Yaay~!!XDD

They also said that I'm free to be as creative as I wanted to within this album, and when I show them what I've done for the cover, they said they LOVE IT~! wow....

I'm sooo happy with this project.

Unfortunately, due to many circumstances, the mini album which was suppose to be release was postponed until further notice. Anyway, I'm reaaaaaaaaalllly happy that they love the cover art :)

Good Luck guys~:)

L.O.V.E

hmmm.........
Today's post (after a loooooong pause) is the artwork that I've created on the request of a friend from my highschool days, Ruth. The concept is about her and her boyfriend together, because this artwork was intended to be printed on their anniversary invitation.
What? no, they haven't got married yet, but hopefully they will, eventually :)
She asked me to draw 3 picture, but today I guess I'll upload the first finished picture.

happy anniversary Ruth!